Author Archives: Blue

About Blue

I'm the classiest motherfucker you'll ever meet.

Sh*t My Family Says…

Husband: When I go to the dentist I’m going to kick him in the knee and tell him “Not today Lexor, not today.”

Me: … What?  Our dentist is Dr. Rhinne.  Who’s Lexor?

Husband: Nevermind.

Me: It’s ok, Mom, I know you love my brother more than me.

Mom:  That’s not true; I love you both separate but equal.

Me:  Umm, isn’t that why the Civil Rights Movement started?

Mom:  This is different, you’re not black.

Niece:  Mom, your son is crying because he bit Nate.

Sister in Law:  He’s crying because HE bit Nate?

Niece:  Yeah … pretty much.

Sister in Law:  You shut your mouth when you’re talking to me!

Brother in Law:  Umm … What?

Brother:  I can live on 4 grand for like, two years when I move out on my own.

Me:  So … apartments require a deposit and first months rent up front, plus getting the lights turned on which is at least $40 a month, and milk is like $4 a gallon.

Brother:  Wait … really?

Me:  Yeah, seriously.  You’re 22 years old, how did you not know that?

Brother:  Mom how much is milk?!




I’m Disappearing

I knew who I was,

Confident, confused.

Speaking my mind,

Just to be used.

I knew my beliefs,

I trusted my soul.

Although I was empty,

I always felt whole.

I spent my days waiting,

For brighter anews.

Only to feel,

Once again used.

“The future is coming,”

I thought to myself.

Yet somehow my goals,

Ended up on the shelf.

“How do I fix this?”

I find myself screaming.

This isn’t the life,

That I see when I’m dreaming.

The empty’s absorbing,

What’s left of my being.

With every day passing,

I’m just disappearing.

The thoughts I once had,

Don’t feel like my own.

My soul has been hardened,

As if made of stone.

A sister, a daughter,

A wife, and a friend.

A beginning to something,

That won’t see an end.

I question my choices,

Second guess my decisions.

I’ve lost all my purpose,

Abandoned my missions.

Of the person I was,

Will any remain?

Or will I disappear,

Leaving nothing but stains?

Something Blue

So it’s been awhile since I’ve felt the urge to write and I’ve noticed that recently I am beginning to feel like I’m 16 again.  I feel like I have no real choices of my own anymore.  Obviously I know that I have choices and I’m not sliding back into a depressed state as I have in the past.  Honestly I’m just numb to the feeling.  I feel like I’m stuck in my job, stuck in my mental state, and stuck in the realm of the universe.  I’ve been spending a lot of my time trying to figure out what I want to do with my life; where I want to be in five years and all that jazz.  I’ve gone through all the channels I can think of; the local community college that I got my initial degree at, the city and state employment agencies, even going as far as going old school, and yes, I’m talking about the newspaper.  I was, in no better terms, cock blocked at every turn.

Last week I thought I had had an epiphany.  After working all of my adolescent years in food service and customer service, I thought I had finally figured out my goal in life.  I decided that I wanted to open my own restaurant.  I’m not talking about some big fancy cuffs and tails joint, just a simple breakfast and lunch dive that served local products and great prices with that good ol’ boy feel that everyone was welcome at.  Simple, good food.  I sat down and truly thought about what I would need to do, what contacts I currently have and which ones I would need to make.  I thought about where I would put it and the type of people I would hire and how I would situate my menu.  I even thought about the financial aspect and who I would talk to about investing in it.  I had everything all down pat and gave myself a year to get it all on track.  The final step was to tell my husband of my ingenious plan.  So, of course, I did.  He was, to say the least, less than enthused, and nothing has been said since.

So here I am again, stuck.  I’m in the same position that I was in before.  Stuck and unsure of what or where or who I am in a big wide world filled with so many fish that it’s becoming claustrophobic.  Just another fish waiting for something to stick to.

2014 in review

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 210 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 4 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Two Thousand and Fifteen

So here we are, another year down the road.  I figured that I would make a list of my “Must Do’s” for 2015; a simple list of things that I, and maybe you, should remember to do this year to make it more kick ass than last year (hopefully).  So here it goes:

  1. Fuck All The Bullshit! – Remember that, in all reality, no one else or their opinions matter except for yours and your loved ones, so don’t let anyone ruin your day.
  2. Separate Work and Life – Work is the place where we get paid to pretend to be someone else and home is where no one will pay us to be ourselves, leave it that way.
  3. Eat, Eat, Eat! – Food is important in all situations so eat well always.
  4. Love Like a Saint, Fuck Like a Porn Star – Intimacy is important so cuddle and hug and hold hands and fuck like bunnies.
  5. No Make-up – I’ve always hated make-up for the simple fact that it’s fake, so be yourself and go a few days without it, it might just change your entire perspective.
  6. You’re Not Perfect – But then again, no one is and that rocks so embrace it.
  7. Be Cheap – Nothing feels better than having the will power to not buy something that you don’t need, save it for a rainy day.
  8. Say Bad Words – Sometimes a shitty day can be turned around just by yelling ‘fuck’ as loud as possible.
  9. Fuck Haters – I hate the word ‘hater’ but here it works.  Don’t keep shitty people around if there’s no need for them.
  10. Express Yourself – If you’re mad, let everyone and anyone know; that whole ‘keep it to yourself’ crap is why housewives drink and middle-aged men get brain tumors.
  11. If It Can’t be Done Naked, It Shouldn’t Be Done – We came into this world naked and nudity is awesome; ’nuff said.
  12. Get Off Facebook – If you’ve never had coffee with someone face to face then they aren’t your friend, get over it.
  13. Plan, Plan, Plan – The only bad plan is no plan at all.
  14. Speak Your Mind – Say what you mean and mean what you say even if it hurts another’s feelings, that’s what makes us human.
  15. Educate Yourself – If you’re not learning in all aspects of life, you’ve become useless.  and finally
  16. Make Yourself Heard – If you think no one is listening, scream it louder.  We all matter to someone even if we don’t realize it and eventually someone will listen.

So here is my list of “Must Do’s” for 2015.  I think that if I follow these simple rules (although not all are really rules, more like suggestions) then my life will be even better than it already is and maybe some of these rules can work for you too.

Thanks to all my followers and everyone who reads my blog.  I appreciate all the support and love and can’t wait to begin 2015 with all of you.

And in case anyone is curious, my New Year’s Resolution for 2015 is … Drink more RedBull, Shoot more Guns, and Kill more Zombies!

Happy New Year!

Free Stuff!!!

So last week I reviewed the new Keurig 2.0 K350 provided to me from Influenster.  Influenster is a site that allows you to take surveys about your daily life, products you use, and your personality and then sends you products to try and review for FREE!  Anyone can sign up and it’s totally free!

Use this link to sign up and start taking surveys to review products for free!  Just use the link below:

I love using Influenster to review products so please check it out!

Keurig 2.0 Review

This product was provided to me compilmentary to test and review by Influenster.

This product was provided to me complimentary to test and review by Influenster.

Today I will be reviewing the brand new Keurig 2.0 K350!  I received this product complimentary of Influenster to test and review.

So let’s start from the beginning: I came home to this baby on my doorstep and immediately had to open it up and try it.  Upon opening the box I immediately noticed that it was damn near already put together.  All I had to do was remove everything out of the box, remove the plastic wrap and tape, and put the filter together.  The filter was insanely easy: all I had to do was soak the charcoal filter for 5 minutes and then insert it into the tube and set the date, which will remind me when to change it.  Then I had to put the filter into the water tank.  I inserted the tray under the spout and plugged it in.  Super easy!

Then I took a closer look at the machine itself and noticed the touch screen.  You can imagine my surprise.  I mean, it’s a TOUCH SCREEN!  How cool is that?  I turn it on and a light turns on the illuminates the water tank.  A very calm notification informs me to fill the water tank, which is easily accessible through a pop off lid.  I put three big cups of water in and the screen then asks what I want to do next.  I begin going through the options and I can set the reminder to notify me when the filter needs to be changed.  I can also set the language, and a few other super cool options.

After all this anticipation I had to try it out.  Luckily I was also provided with 6 K Cups, 5 different types of coffee and one black tea as well as 4 super big K Cup coffee flavors for the carafe.  Oh, did I forget to the mention that it comes with a carafe?!  So not only can this Keurig brew me a delicious cup of coffee when I’m home alone, but it can also provide coffee for those family filled moments that require a hot cup of delicious caffeine for everyone in the house!  I had read on other reviews that people had noticed a plasticky taste when they just ran coffee through immediately, so I opened the top and closed it again.  The screen asked me if I would like to brew a cup of hot water, so I touched “Yes”.  It asked me the size and I touched 8 oz.

I didn’t have great luck with my previous Keurig.  It was a First Gen Keurig that was handed down used by my Mother in Law and every cup tasted off.  It just wasn’t good no matter what I cleaned it with or what flavor I used I didn’t like it.  So I was a little apprehensive about this cup of coffee, but I have to admit it smelled so good.

So I take my first sip and it was AMAZING!  I was so impressed with this Keurig 2.0 K350.

So here is my over all review:  Would I pay full price for this?  Absolutely not!  There is no way in hell I would ever pay over $100 for a coffee maker.  I’m cheap and while I love my caffeine, I love my money more.  I’m not positive the exact number on this price tag, but let’s just say I paid $10 for my old coffee maker and I thought that was a little much.  BUT… if you can find this on sale, BUY IT BUY IT BUY IT!!!!  However, as I said before, I’m cheap.  If you love coffee, and I mean like connoisseur of coffee, then buy this machine.  The flavor is great, the time-saving is incredible, and the ease of use is life changing!

So, in a nut shell, don’t pay full price, but if you can find this on sale you need to buy it and that’s the bottom line.

Again, this product was provided to me complimentary of Influenster for testing and review purposes.  Thanks Influenster!