10 Stupid Things Customers Say

I work at a dry cleaning business, but I’ve been in customer service my entire life.  Throughout my work history I have heard the smartest and the stupidest come out of people’s mouths and I finally realized that someone needs to actually put them down on paper, or in this case, into the world wide web.

Here are the Top Ten Stupidest Things Customers Say at a Dry Cleaners:

10.  Do you take cash?

I live in Wyoming and work for a local business.  We take plastic, paper, and even checks.  Who doesn’t take cash?

9. Can I get this back in an hour?

Clothing takes 20 minutes to wash at home, and drycleaning is an entire process including the time it takes me press it.  Can you do laundry in an hour?

8.  I need these extra heavy starched to make them FR.

First off FR means Fire Retardant.  Many oil rigs and refineries require their employees to wear fire retardant clothing for safety reasons.  STARCH IS FLAMMABLE!!!

7.  These have a stain in the crotch and I’m not sure what it is, can you get it out?

Just tell me the truth.  You shit or pissed your pants.  Yes I can get it out, but I won’t because that’s disgusting.

6.  Can you clean and press my pyjamas?

It’s a cotton blend pyjama pant.  You seriously are going to pay to have your pyjamas dry cleaned, starched, and pressed?

5.  Do you clean underwear?

Fuck no I do not!  That’s germ warfare and I don’t get paid enough for that shit.

4.  I’ve got brand new shirts that I need cleaned and pressed but I didn’t unbutton them or take them out of the package, is that ok?

The sign on the door specifically says to please unbutton your shirts prior to bringing them in.  I’m not your mother, unbutton your own shirts.

3.  Will you clean these and then fold them instead of bagging them?

If I fold a shirt after it’s pressed, then it will wrinkle.  Isn’t that counter productive as well as a waste of money?

2.  Will you hand iron my shirts?  I don’t want the presses to shrink my clothing.

Not only are the presses not hot enough to shrink shirts for the 5 seconds they are put down, but the pressure and force that the presses exert is so much that fibers physically cannot shrink.  It’s basic science.  If I can’t physically pull a shirt out of my press, it isn’t going to shrink.  Trust me.

1.  I don’t know how many pieces I have, can I get them tomorrow?  Oh and I need a price please.

How can I give you a price if I don’t know what you have?


As a society we really need to think before we open our mouths or we might end up looking like idiots. 


About Blue

I'm the classiest motherfucker you'll ever meet. View all posts by Blue

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